lets be realistic, Pokemon is way to innocent

1. Where is all this meat coming from?
Are there non-pokemon animals I am not aware of? Even Bulbasaur is grabbing this grub. I mean, what the hell? plants eating meat? seems a bit ridiculous, if it were a Carnevine, maybe. Pokemon eating their own commerades in battle... disgusting. I want to see the episode where the "pokemon loving" Ask Catchem becomes vegatarian. It would go like this: Ash:"have you seen my Tauros?" Gary:"Have you tried the steak?" Ash: (what are you implying face)"..." Gary: (you have't figured it out yet face) You get the point.

2. Slavery
Pokemon, now that right there is some fuckin cheap labor. Some episodes you even see it. they say "look at the nice pokemon. See, they like to help us." what they don't tell you is that each on of those pokemon are underfed, underpaid, underappreciated, and unhappy. You would think the pokemon would rebel with all the power they have, but NO! thier masters have complete control just because they threw a damn ball at them after nearly beating the shit outta them with another pokemon (who by the way is also a slave) .

3.Prostitution
anyone else think Jynx is sexy? well.. maybe not. But she is a WHORE! Even while she was a Smoochum: testing everything with her mouth... I'll tell her what she can test. I'm tellin ya, these pokemon are being sold for sex, some not even for people. Some people just whore out their pokemon to other peoples pokemon. Some because they think their Pokemon deserves some lovin, and others because they just want some pokemon eggs (maybe for breakfast, maybe for the younglings IDK). which brings us to DITTO, whore of all whores in the pokemon world, to all species and genders alike this pokemon has done them all! when it comes to the phrase "gotta catch 'em all" it is referring to STDs for this pokemon. When training a pokemon to be a prostitute there are a wide range a pokepimp may teach them including absorb, agility, amnesia, ancient power, arm thrust, assist, astonish, attract, bide, bind, bite, body slam, bounce, bulk up, bullet seed, camouflage, charge, charm, clamp, constrict, covet, crunch, defence curl, destiny bond, dig, dive, double team, double slap, drill peck, earthquake, encore, endure, eruption, explosion, extrasensory, extremespeed, faint attack,
fake out, fake tears, fissure, flash, flatter, focus energy, growth, harden, headbutt, helping hand, hidden power, horn attack, horn drill, hydro pump, hyper voice, hypnotize, imprison, lick, lock on, mean look, megahorn, gettting bored will continue later, shower for now
4. Just plain sex.
None of these couples seem to even be interested in each other in that way pokemon and humans. Ash never even had a girlfriend (That I know of). Him and Misty should have totally hooked up. As for Pokemon, they get it on... but IN A DAYCARE!?! I don't know what kind of daycares you have been to, but none of the ones I have seen include orgies. I don't even know how some of these pokemon do it. I mean, can you imagine 2 snorlaxes getting it on? For this reason I bring you the "sexual pokedex"

The "Get the hell off me!" pokemon:
Venusaur (not exactly pollination)
Blastoise
Golom
Rhyhorn
Lairon
Wailmer
Wailord
Torkoal
Grotle
Torterra
Bastiodon
Hippowdon
Mamoswine

The Playing "hard to get" pokemon:
Shellder
Cloyster
Qwilfish
Shuckle
Cacnea
Cacturne
Glalie
Clampearl
Shellgon

The "is this sex?" pokemon:
Slugma
Magcargo
Grimer
Muk
Gastly
Haunter
Gengar

The "just not that into it" pokemon:
Metapod (uses harden... followed by stringshot)
Kakuna
Pupitar
Silcoon
Cascoon
Slowpoke (so.. thats why its called slow poke...)
Slowbro (gay incest?)
Slowking (gay royalty?)
Magikarp (need I say more?)
Snorlax
Quagsire (female Quagsire opens her legs... and waits...)
Slakoth
Slaking

The "Too much into it" pokemon:
Loudred (the annoying orgasm pokemon)
Exploud (the orgasm that kills pokemon)
Vigoroth
Primeape (angsty sex)

The "Sex specialists" pokemon:
Diglett (the dildo pokemon)
Smoochum (the forplay pokemon)
Gulpin (the blowjob pokemon)
Swalot (the deepthroat pokemon)
Kacleon (the "who the hell just fucked me?" pokemon)
Aipom (the handjob pokemon)
Ambipom (the... better handjob pokemon)
Lopunny (the playmate bunny pokemon)
Lickitung ("HO!... oh")
Lickilicky (the oral pokemon for the ladies)
Ditto (the pokemon that will fulfill all your fantasies and give you STDs)

The "masterbation or orgy?" pokemon:
Dugtrio
Magneton
Doduo
Dodrio (do you think they it has six heads total?)
Exeggcute
Exeggutor
Weezing
Combee
Cherubi

The "WTF, youre a woman?!?" pokemon:
Machop
Machoke
Machamp (the rapist pokemon)
Tyrogue
Hitmonlee
Hitmonchan
Hitmontop (upside down sex)
Mr. Mine (is there a mrs. Mime?)

The "WTF, you're a man?!?" pokemon:
Jynx
Happiny
Chansey
Blissey
Kirlia
Gardevior

The "Your gunna fuck me with your WHAT!?!"/"Where are my genitals?" pokemon:
Weepinbell
Victreebel
Magnemite
Magnezone
Onix
Steelix
Voltorb
Electrode
Koffing
Tangela (its gotta be here somewhere...)
Tangrowth
Staryu
Starmie
Unown (couldn´t think of a better name myself)
Altaria (F:"wrong hole", M:"well maybe if you shaved your cloud every once in a while!")
Solrock
Lunatone
Luvdisc
Beldum
Drifloon
Drifblim
Bronzor
Bronzong
Rotom

The "Wierd fetish" pokemon:
Nosepass
Probopass


The "sorry, I just don´t find you attractive" pokemon:
Purugly
Hippopotas
Feebas

Your welcome for those images, Open for suggestions.

5. Drugs
Brock is a pothead, there I said it. Pokemon are perfect for drug smuggling. Chansey and Delibirds for example. Brock isn't the only one puffin it up. Koffing inhales it like air and Drowzee is the biggest crack addict there is. I'm also pretty sure spinda is on LSD.

6. Guns
Where are they?

7. Inventer of the Pokeball.
This guy is a genious. He was able to make condense space and matter. You would think he would use this technology for making cheap living space for humans, or possible an easy way to carry heavy objects. I think he must have discovered it by accident because if it were on purpose surely he would have done those things. But what invention could you be trying to make where you accidently make a pokeball? and if you do accidently make a pokeball how the hell do you figure out what it does? He must have been inspired by a Voltorb. Maybe some Voltorb kept breaking his electrical equipment, so he decided he was just going to kill them. He tries several times to absorb their electrical energy, but the Voltorb are too smart and ran away. So he decides to make a electrical absorbtion device that is disguised as a Voltorb. He makes 2. He puts the new inventions on the counter, but one rolls of onto one of the broken devices. Then he puts them in his pocket. He waits till he sees a Voltorb. He throws the 1st and it absorbs almost all the Voltorbs health. Then he throws the ball that was on the magnetic device. But this time after hitting the Voltorb instead of absorbing the energy it absorbed the actual Voltorb. Obviously he was surprised to see what happened, but even more surprised to see the rest of the pack of Voltorbs avenging the caught Voltorbs death. The inventor died that day. After discovering his dead body and the open ball they found one closed one. Out of curiosity they take the ball and try to find out why it isn't open. then one time it hits the ground and the voltorb comes out. From then on they have reversed engineered the pokeball and designed a whole world around it. That is how the pokeball was invented and why the technology isn't used for other purposes.

8.What is inside the pokeball?
oh, thats right we will never know, because the 2 pokemon Meowth and Mewtwo that speak in human tongue both don´t go in one. Luckily, the mudkips are here to help try to explain what it is like in there: [link]